haven't had time to dig through my mind. trust, i shall sort out my thoughts in the near future.

i do miss you journal!

Amado mio
Love me forever
And let forever begin tonight

Amado mio
When we're together
I'm in a dream world
Of sweet delight

Many times I've whispered
Amado mio
It was just a phrase
That I heard in plays
I was acting a part

But now when I whisper
Amado mio
Can't you tell I care
By the feeling there
'Cause it comes from my heart

I want you ever
I love my darling
Wanting to hold you
And hold you tight

Amado mio
Love me forever
And let forever
Begin tonight

Many times I've whispered
Amado mio
It was just a phrase
That I heard in plays
I was acting a part

But now when I whisper
Amado mio
Can't you tell I care
By the feeling there
'Cause it comes from my heart

I want you ever
I love my darling
Wanting to hold you
And hold you tight

Amado mio
Love me forever
And let forever
Begin tonight
And let forever
Begin tonight
And let forever
Begin tonight

feeling wobbly

Current mood: Shiteous. Excuse the foul language. I can't seem to stop it right now.


This always happens to me. It gets me every time...

Do you ever have a bruise that just swells up like a blue ball underneath your skin and never seems to go away? As soon as you touch it, the pain immediately gets annoying. You wanna press on it harder in hopes of making the "pain go away." But its just hanging out there? Yes, it has a mark on your precious knee and it won't let go like a fucking leech? Does this bruise want you to fail? So that the public will see the nasty spectacle on your leg. Or does it expect you to man up, and NOT be a pussy n' take the pain? No Pain No Gain. Correct? Well, soon...you're gonna keep pressing that sucker until it explodes a vein, THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY.

Delilah always cheers me up.

anything U can do, i can do BETTER.

A little update on my life!

Its been about a month here at my new home. In these past four weeks, never have I missed "home," the way I did today. We've been juggling between the new house and the new location...and it's forcing me to want to be lazy! Time kept flying by as the work-load piled up. All of the sudden, it's Sunday: And we still have plenty of things to do. My responsibilities for the week are to: Paint two bedrooms, paint a bathroom, assemble all upstairs furniture, buy the furnishings, re-paint two vanity tables, spray paint my bed set, design the rooms, have a grand opening on Monday, buy all supplies for the new store, place all banners and signs, AND complete all of my daily work. It doesn't seem like much, but trust me, it is! Before I know it, I'll be sitting in the same place, planning out the same things next Sunday.

Our new home by the lake.

Taking a break from setting up.

Despite the declining hours of free time, life can't get any better. I have a great support system, getting a career going and currently living without stress.


You don't think I'd end this blog without complaining about something, did ya? HECK NO.
There's something or someone that's been bothering me lately. This actually started a bit back, but it's just getting out of hand when others' have to complain about it. Let me ask you this, why are people so competitive? Do answer me this because I have no idea.

I've never been much of a competitive person. Hell, I don't have a competitive bone in my body. Not saying that it's a good nor bad thing; but God skipped me on that gene pool. I've seen my own friends getting competitive with each other over clothes, money, friends...and whatnot...but it's not that big of a deal. Girls whining over who has the coolest boots or best boob job = whatever, no biggie. Guys dishing out the best rims to having curtains in their cars (lame, you won't believe it until you see it)...all these little materialistic aspects are just a part of living in Orange County. Now, I know of someone that is guilty of even bigger competitions. You know, that one guy that always has to top it all, even if he starts to sound douche-y (yes, it's a he). For example, you mention that you love spicy foods. The other person comes back, "well have you tried this and that? It's wayyy spicier. You won't be able to handle it. I bet you you can't. What's that you have in your hand? Oh, I can take that like nothing. I can eat a thousand peppers from Satan and I'd chomp them down like Cheetos." <> Then you whip out some sort of spice that you KNOW will rock their buds of their tongue. He's still going off about how, "that ain't shit." What happens when they taste it? FIYAAAAA! Poor friend. His pores start opening, sweat is starting to drip, eyes so watery it looks like he's been to a funeral, chugging down the milk..I mean the list goes on. I mean, why do you have to say things like that? Is it really necessary? Are you expecting an answer? Because to the idiotic remarks you've spit out definitely doesn't deserve one.

This person not only talks out of a donkey's ass but they also lie about it! Lie about being here, eating there, pooping on clouds...you name it. They parade about how much they know, but when in reality........he/she has never even tried it! SO if you're one of those people that just blatantly lie about your daily lives to sound cool: don't think we all can't see through your nasty habits. Its annoying, and can also be offensive. ....challenging my intellect? Puh-lease I can tell through yo lyin' ass crooked teeth.

"WORD TO YO MOTHA."
Horse I saw at church today.

Smack Session

I don't know how to start this one out...but have you ever made an itty-bitty white lie to emphasize your image? Instead of stating 108 lbs. on your driver's license, you put 105 lbs? A couple pounds different wouldn't hurt the card; but it will go miles to make you feel better! I've been keeping tabs on this person via Facebook for some time now, and she never ceases to surprise me. She's been cropping pictures of Kelly Hu, Holly Madison, Kim Kardashian and even Leg Avenue's models' out and putting bits and pieces of her face in them...Weird? Or is it weird that I'm even noticing the mediocre Photoshop jobs?

I really don't want to call her out on her insanity, but yet again, being the evil devil that I am......I find it excruciating not to talk about it. I wonder why people resort to doing those things to make them feel better? I mean, where's the authenticity? Personally, I would never create profiles of fake people and send messages between the two accounts...........and act as if it was reality. Maybe living in this world, we've got to pretend to look our best. Because if not, we might be ridiculed, looked upon or perceived as 'out of the ordinary.' Maybe she can't help but to live up her life on the monitor. For a period of time, she cropped out pictures of Frankie J., said that he was her boyfriend and that he worked at Hugo Boss! ALSO, why would you lie about the school you go to? UCLA. Okay, might be a good school, but how come you've said you went to Western Law School, UCLA, Cal-State Fullerton and that one school down Harbor & the 405....all in the same semester??? What the? Is she delusional or does she think the public is really that gullible? You work at a Cathy Jean shoe store, relax.

Wow. I am just as crazy to know all this info. Might add, low-life to that too. HAHA.
But If you wanna know who it is, let me know!

In Memory Of...

My days here in Arlington have treated me very well. Aside from the hideous weather, I can pretty much say, "I want to live here forever!" But, on this lonely Sunday, I sit and reminisce about life on the west coast.

I wanted to share to you guys some things/people/places that I've been missing...

1. My Friends. Our countless times doing absolutely nothing. Getting boba because we were bored...literally speeding across the 405 to make it in time before they close. Watching Chandra and Jill paint their nails a thousand times a night, or even listening to Chan complain about what she's going to wear a ba-zillion times. Talking about our problems, differences and similarities. Comparing ourselves to other people/girls/guys/animals. Bitching about Jill and Michelle's problems. Connie-Johnnie fights, who's going to win?

1. Happy Hour Dates. Wow, Tammy, Kim and I made the best of times during 3 and 6pm @ Kabuki. Then either heading to "the pad" or Red Claw to get MORE hammered! Literally drinking that sake like no other. Blabbing about things we shouldn't be blabbing about. HAHA, trying to gather as many people to go with us but it would only end up US being there..."not ordering" any of the mediocre food, but end up ordering loads and wads of it.


2. myCubi. I wish I can just go into the room and have him there. It really is painfully sad to come home from work...to nothing. No one gets me water at night, no one kisses me good morning, I have no one to kiss and hold at night. Crying about it only makes it worse, and once the tears slip through, its like a waterfall that rushes out of my eyes. It's probably one of the harder things to do; just to up and leave the love of your life. Thinking about it right now is making me watery! ...


3. SundayFunday's. Though I enjoy being with my family, Sunday's are meant to be FUN! The last day to drink, bbq, hang out at Bobby's house.


4. Xena Warrior Princess. My little angel. She's so obedient, shy and innocent. When Rubi and I argue, she just stares at me. When I'm crying she snuggles up next to me. Every morning after her dad leaves for work, she hops onto the bed with me and lays next to my thighs..EVERY DAY just as he leaves. She knows when and how to go peepee. She waits for me to come home every day and night. I hope she's not waiting for me now because =[
   

Cheers to another week...
Oh yea! I'm returning to California on August 31. Planning my trip right now.

wadddddup son!
<3

Good Riddance OC

A little too late? Perhaps there's never a time to say goodbye to Orange County.

I've been in Dallas for two full days now, and it's been pretty tiring. Not working for months made me feel so useless. With the new location opening soon, there's not enough time in a day!

Excuse thy camera phone, soon enough I will have an improved POS.

On our way to the airport, Connie and Jill had asked me, probably the most sheltered thing I've heard, "...so what's in Texas? How does it look like? I can only imagine cows, ranches and cowboys. Nothing else." Well, the truth is, Dallas' suburbs aren't far from what we all imagine...

The *new* Dallas Cowboys stadium right in my backyard. Don't mind the electric wiring and yellow grass.

Yes, yes. I know it's nothing like clean-cut Orange County, but Dallas does offer me a career! I really miss my Rubi, time to do nothing but lounge around Chandra's house all day, boba runs, having more time to surf the internet, uploading pictures at 4 in the morning, eating sushi, drinking at the pad...and it's only been nearly a week. I love you and miss you Orange County, but I've got to move on into a hot-ass oven.


i'll be back soon!

UPDATE:

1. I've completed downloading Rosetta Stone: Italiano. Going to start using it this weekend!

new beginnings

Changing is really hard to do, but it is well worth it! Maybe this is just me..but I feel that in Orange County, it's so hard to change what you've been. All eyes are staring, and people WILL criticize you whether it's publicly or privately. "She thinks she's sooo cool wearing that hat. What the hell happened to Bee? She's so weird now.." Whatever! I recently made some changes in my personality and it proved to be such a positive result! It inspired me to try to change other things about my living.

Before making the move to Dallas...I've compiled some things that I'd like to see change in myself and/or some goals I'd like to meet in the near future.

1. Learning another language. You guys that really know me, know that I'm a uber cultural person. I appreciate the differences between various peoples in different places of the world. A special thanks to high school, enabling me to learn Spanish! (which should be the second official language of the world!) Since my last Espanol class, I still apply my Spanish lingo wherever I can. Reading menus, products at Wal-Mart, newspapers...anything I can try to read, I read. Because of its similarity, I think Italian will be the language of choice. I've been reading online about Italy...Wow, so romantic! America sucks! Haha, jk.

2. Reading. I'm not big on novels or fiction...but lately, I've been interested in The Count of Monte Cristo and The Oddessey. Not sure why...I think I scanned some excerpts from the two and it sounded so good! I'm excited to start reading during my alone time in Texas. Plus, my brain needs some help in the reading department, so practice wouldn't hurt right? Yay!

The Corleone boys.
Seriously, The Godfather is my inspiration...haha. Classic.

r.i.p. legend is lost..

Though I know hundreds of millions of people around the world are mourning his death...but it feels like I'm the only one that's sad (around my friends at least). Michael Jackson has seriously been upheld since I was little. My mom, my dad and the rest of my family grew up listening to ALL of his songs. He was so amazing. He was a living legend. It's so unfortunate that his death happened so suddenly. I was looking forward to seeing his upcoming concerts at the 02 Arena in London. Fifty sold-out shows! FIFTY...literally sold out within days. Over 13 hit songs and "Thriller" sold over 100 million copies! The world record, W T F. His voice was so soft spoken, and his moves brought dance to another level. Usher and Chris Brown is nothing compared to him. I'm so sad. When my kids grow up, I'm happy to say that I lived through the Michael Jackson era. Soooooo happy that I can say that. But yet so sad =[ So young. Nothing can compare or even touch MJ's level!!!

One of my favorite performances in 2001. The moon walk during Billy Jean.

the Green light!

If you know me, you know I've been a bit of a tree-hugger! *and proud!

My boo was getting his haircut months back, and instead of staring at myself in the mirror, I picked up a men's magazine. I wish I could remember what the title was, but I do remember a particular article. The article was talking about United States' largest landfill: Puente Hills.

Landfill? Disgusting. Almost nothing but gooey dispose, dirty diapers and seagulls flock my mind. But after learning about how much waste we produce, the place seems to be much more bearable. Did you know each person produces about seven pounds of crap everyday? That's including paper we throw away, poop we flush, seeds we spit...however, it does not include the water we waste. The Los Angeles sanitation district says that we are responsible for 100 gallons of wastewater per day!!!! One hundred gallons? I don't even drink 30 ounces of liquids in a day. At Puente Hills, the daily intake limit is at 13,200 tons (that's equal to the weight of 6,600 cars), and by the afternoon, it has already reach maximum capacity.

Imagine Little Saigon...Bolsa. Has anyone ever take notice at ABC Supermarket? How filthy Magnolia & Bolsa can be. Family and friends visit from all over during Tet to see how much freaking litter there is! I bet you Marissa Cooper from The OC has never seen shit like this! Whenever I'm desperate to stop by Van's bakery for their fruit sponge/tart, I always see trash flying in the air, on the floor, pasted on walls. Can the city of Westminster just invest $50 in a trash can and plot it somewhere in there? Yet again, people would probably walk right past it and toss their crumbled receipts in front of it. Friends, if you're around me, remember that I'm always taking notice of what I see you throw on the ground....winkwink.

Soon, landfills will be filled and closed. Where the hell will we put our crap?! So please do your part by sharing napkins when possible, litter in YOUR OWN car and save your shot cups!

• http://articles.latimes.com/2001/jul/22/magazine/tm-25079

• http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/152147/real_facts_behind_recycling_are_land_pg2.html?cat=4

World Peace (literally).

My first blog.

I thought that it should be something of importance, and something worth thinking about. It's easy to say that we live in a peaceful place: Orange County. Nothing much goes on except for local clubs, rich kids spending parents money and maximizing gossip. Every teenager either owns a cell phone, has a Myspace or spends their time watching MTV/VH1. I'm not sure if anyone has been noticing what's been going on around the world...but I believe we should be watching, especially now.

If you've been taking notice, Iran just had an election and the country is currently going through a revolution. To be honest, I do not know the full details, but it's just as bad as the Middle East can be. Protests against the new president has been resulting in violence from the government officials AND the opposing side. To clear things up, there's always two sides of a story. There will always be opposition. It's sad to read and watch about the deaths that's been occurring...when I'm sitting here complaining about how "dark I am," or how I need to be the skinniest bitch alive.

Neda.
Twitter has been explosive about her story. There's always death occurring around the world every day, but to see her life slip away in a matter of minutes on YouTube, just brings violence to another level. The clips that are posted online are pretty powerful. They say that she is probably now, a symbol of freedom. As I watched, I couldn't help to feel saddened. Feeling like a helpless person all the way across the world in Orange County where freedom is obviously, taken for granted. She was just a woman living her life, hoping for the best, doing what we do everyday, LIVING.....and then, she's dead?

It sucks to see the footage of someone literally dying on the screen. But it sucks more that death happens everywhere for not a good enough reason. I'm really going to do my part by trying* not to be so angry & violent. And to take notice of the things going on around the globe, not just the gossip that goes on in the OC bubble.

Sticks and Stones
Men hurl rocks at Mousavi supporters at Tehran University on June 14.
(from Time.com) Imagine this happening at OCC or CSULB, too crazy.